Thanks. I'm still looking for that moment of clarity. I'm going to read some of the other articles you referenced.

My husband has threatened to leave me and always changes his mind. I've asked myself why I prefer the idea of him leaving me to me leaving. After reading your article, I'm thinking it is because then I would have that big moment to give to people and say, "Here is what happened. Shaun filed for divorce" and then they would understand. But you are right, it is not any one moment, it is the collection of them. You are also right that it is humiliating.